Guess who’s coming to dinner, now?

blk woman wht man

What used to be too taboo to talk about is no longer when it comes to black women and white men dating.

In places such as Washington, DC and Atlanta, it is common to see a black woman walking hand in hand or sitting down to dinner with a white man. In fact, more relationships between the groups are developing than ever before and there are multiple reasons why black women prefer white men these days. According to the Pew Research Center, some 24% of black men in 2010 married women who were not black, and this alarmingly high rate is among the reasons for the lack of suitors for black women. Black men who are incarcerated or identify as gay, also account for the number of black males who have been removed from the dating game with respect to black women.

This shortfall has not come as a major disappointment to black women though, who for decades have sat back and watched the most eligible black men date or marry white women. Now, black women feel that what’s good for black men is also good for them, and have turned the tables on black-white dating. As increasing numbers of black women receive advanced college degrees, the opportunity to interact with white men is greater. Adding to the equation that finding a single white man (and there are tons of them, so you don’t have to look too hard) who does not have children is as commonplace as a black man finding a single white woman who does not have children.

For black women, a by-product of dating or marrying a white man is a quicker move up the socioeconomic ladder, as white men tend to have higher incomes, better access to financial resources and more significant social standing than do black men. These assertions are not meant to be misconstrued or disingenuous. As previously suggested, white men tend to be more attracted to black women who are highly educated and gainfully employed. By contrast, educated black men with high incomes are more likely to date or marry white women with lower incomes and lesser education.

The issue of family acceptance and the risk of jeopardizing platonic friendships with their black male friends is fastly losing out to black women who have grown tired of solitude while waiting to find an eligible black man to marry, or even date. For black men, the notion of black women dating white men touches a nerve as negative attitudes relating to the slave master-slave relationship, continue to exist.

It is past time for black women to take control of their own happiness without black men taking them on a guilt trip over loyalty. Black men need to get over themselves and come to the realization that they cannot have it both ways.



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